Attachment parenting & wine and cheese

I first encountered the idea of attachment parenting while I was pregnant, watching the movie, Away We Go, where Maggie Gyllenhaal (love her) plays a mother who boasts about having an orgasm during labour and ridicules her friend for buying her a pusher saying, “I love my babies why would I want to push them away from me”. Basically I thought her character was pretty crazy and the whole idea seemed pretty silly. While I didn’t plan to push my babies away I did plan to push them in the pram now and then.

As with most aspects of parenting, my views begun to change when our baby was born. My resolve to teach my baby to sleep alone dwindled and we started happily co-sleeping, the baby carrier replaced the pram as our favourite form of transport (although we do use the pram too) and I started regularly wearing Finn in a sling or carrier around the house. Suddenly when I revisited the notion of attachment parenting it didn’t seem so crazy, in fact it seemed to make perfect sense. Keep your babies close and respect their need to feel secure, they are after all entirely dependant on you and that is only natural.

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I love this way of parenting, walking around with a bub strapped to my chest, listening to his babbling, watching him sleep or just feeling the rhythm of his breathing against my chest. Mr J is also a very hands on dad and loves nothing more than a cuddle or a play with his little boy.

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The challenging part is for beloved and I to find moments to cuddle and talk when there isn’t a small person smack in the middle of us. A kiss shared between us comes with it a pair of bright eyes watching us and giggling, a cuddle often involves someone’s small foot in one of our faces.

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I have become so accustomed to this that sometimes I forget how important it is to make time just for each other. So the other night for no reason other than we were missing each other’s company, we decided to have ourselves a wine and cheese night (complete with Cadbury Creme eggs). Finn has been sleeping a lot in the baby carrier before we go to bed at night but this night I took him out and lay him down in his cot to sleep.

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We enjoyed a good hour of wine, cheese and non-baby-related conversation and reminded ourselves that there is more to us than being mum and dad. At which point, Finn’s sixth sense kicked in and he realised there was fun being had and he wasn’t involved. But that was all we needed, to realise we love the way that we parent but we need to remember to take time out just for us sometimes too.

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How do you feel about attachment parenting? Does it work for you? What do you do for your me time?

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4 Responses to “Attachment parenting & wine and cheese”
  1. BaltimoreCrunch says:

    Aw :) You sound like us! We LOVE Attachment Parenting and are striving to become the gentle parents our children deserve! I love my husband even more now that I see how secure we are with each other, even though we spend most of our days with little feet on our heads or in between us. He’s ready for #3 already :) Who knew parenting could be so comfortable when you have a partner that feels the same way! It’s really such a blessing!

    • pramsandwich says:

      That is so inspiring! We are planning to try for #2 soon and we can’t wait. I agree it is such a blessing to have a wonderful partner on the same page who feels secure in the relationship even when most of our cuddles are of the three bear variety. I worry sometimes that Finn will have trouble adjusting if we have another one, I don’t want him to miss out on having our undivided love and attention. I think he will enjoy being a big brother though. What was your experience like with going from one to two using attachment parenting? I’d love to hear about your story. Good luck with planing for #3! Good on you.

  2. Great question. I’ve been examining this question in the past few days. I think that the biggest misconception with AP is that it is the only form of parenting that allows a secure attachment to develop. AP is just one of the many ways to parent that allows parents to develop a secure attachment with their kiddos.

    http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/04/15/what-does-the-mommy-psychologist-have-to-say-about-attachment-parenting/

    • pramsandwich says:

      Thank you for sharing a link to your article, interesting read. Yes I agree that there is a lot of misconception surrounding attachment parenting and it is certainly not the only way to form secure attachments with your children.

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